Saturday, January 14, 2012

I Have Super-Powers! Who-Knew?


My oldest spawn is 11 years old.  Most days, it takes everything I have in me to not physically try and "knock" some sense into him.  It's a lesson in patience that I'm very slow in learning.  I know it would be helpful if I could just look at life through his eyes, and I try (sometimes) to be more understanding with the way his brain tries to think, rationalize, and make sense of the day-to-day activities.

By doing this...looking at things through his beautiful blue-gray eyes, I've come to the realization that he apparently believes that I have this unknown (to me)set of super powers.  I only wish someone would have told me before now that I possess this amazing abilities.  Maybe the crazies wouldn't have been so crazy.

For instance - the power to "keep going" once the little monkies have gone to bed.  You know, keep doing all those mom things once those lil' darlins have settled in for a night's slumber.

Wrong.

Once they are tucked in, I am off duty for the night. (not completely, for a mom/ dad is always on duty for those middle of the night bad dreams or tummy aches that sometimes happen)  But when 11 year old Precious brought down his laundry hamper at bedtime one night, and was genuinely surprised that it was still sitting in the same spot with all the same dirty clothes in it the next morning, I realized there was a super power I was missing out on. The "Able to sort-wash-dry-fold" in a single evening's activities.

Nope.  I don't do laundry after 9 o'clock.

There's also the X-Ray vision.  This one I just discovered I was missing earlier this evening when, while putting fresh sheets on Mr. Can't Do It Himself's bed, I noticed the pillow case was missing.  It's a long body-pillow that he prefers to sleep on that I made him unzip and remove the case so I could have the knowledge of it being washed at least once this year.  Well, now it was missing.  It wasn't in the dryer with the other sheets, it wasn't in the laundry hamper, it wasn't anywhere that dirty (or CLEAN) laundry should've been.

If I would've had my power of X-Ray vision, I would've been able to see that somehow it had gotten kicked under the bed when he was stripping the sheets off of his bed this morning.  Uh-huh.  Somehow.  He proceeded to bring it down to me in the basement and hand it to me as if I was going to magically kick into my "Able to sort-wash-dry-fold" super power in the next 20 minutes before it was time for his hard head to lie on his pillow.

Oh my,  the look on his face when I told him I would get it washed on Monday.  Did I forget to mention, I not only do not do laundry after 9 o'clock.  I generally don't do laundry on Sundays either.    Sorry dude.

Finally, and this missed super power is usually noticed in the mornings.  Not just from my lil' Prince Oblivious...but all of the monkeys in my house.  It's known as "Mom Goes to the Grocery Store EVERY.  SINGLE.  DAY"  power.

(I don't.)  But for some reason they think I do.

I have one grocery shopping day.  I hate grocery shopping.  Maybe it comes from too many trips with these little blessings in tow, but even now - when I can go by myself...I hate it.  I plan, I budget, I shop once.  Period.

And yet every day, at least one of them will ask for .... something.  Some box of cereal, some...snack for school, something - that they know we didn't have in the house the day before, and yet they're certain that mom has nothing better to do than hit the grocery store every day for this, that, and the other thing.

No dears.  We didn't have chocolate chip cookies in the house yesterday, and we still don't have them today.  But I'd be happy to give you your first cooking lesson and we can make some!  Hello?  Hellooooooo?  Where'd you go???  Should I take your running away as a "no"??

Okey dokey then.  So to recap.  I do not grocery shop daily.  I do not do laundry after 9 pm, and I can't see anything unless it's actually out in front of me.

But you should see the way they can make my head spin around 360-degrees on any given Saturday when all 3 of 'em are up at the crack of dawn fighting.

I need the power to ignore.  Is that so wrong??

C.

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