For some time now, there has been a worship song that is a favorite of many in the church, except maybe me. Don't get me wrong, I thought it a perfectly good song - I just didn't "get" the lyric - they didn't sit right with me...

Lord I'm amazed by You -
Lord I'm amazed by You
Lord I'm amazed by You
How You love me.

In my own little world, I would sing that and think - "Why should I be amazed?" I'm saved, I know He loves me! I'm not going to wallow in self-pity of what a horrible sinner I am and un-deserving of His love. That was before I was a Christian...I've been a Christian a long time, and I know all about His love. Why should I be amazed by it?"

(This would be yet another time when Mr. D. just looks at me as if I'm the most bizarre person in the world. Apparently, he already gets it. But this is my blog, so I get to write about it...)

I was reading The Ragamuffin Gospel yesterday. I've actually been reading it for a while now, as time has not allowed me to just sit down and read straight through, and as it turns out, there's a lot to digest in Brennan Manning's book. At any rate, this is what I happened upon yesterday -

and God answers "That's what you don't know. You don't know how much I love you. The moment you think you understand is the moment you do not understand. I am God not man. You tell others about Me - that I am a loving God. Your words are glib. My words are written in the blood of my only Son. The next time you preach about My love with such obnoxious familiarity, I may come and blow your whole prayer meeting apart. When you come at Me with studied professionalism, I will expose you as a rank amateur. When you try to convince others thatyou understand what you are talking about, I will tell you to shut up and fall flat on your face..."

My first reaction to this passage? "Well that's a little harsh isn't it?" But then there it was right in front of me. Yes, I may have been saved long ago, and I may claim to know all about His love for me. But yes, I really should be amazed that He loves me.

"When God's love is taken for granted, we paint Him into a corner and rob Him of the opportunity to love us in a NEW AND SURPRISING way, and faith begins to shrivel and shrink."

Lord, I really am amazed how You love me.