Party of Five

This orange ribbon represents:  The kidney cancer that took her right kidney in 2006. The metastasized kidney cancer that took a section of her right lung in 2017. The cancer that has once again reared its ugly head on her spine and adrenal gland. Kidney cancer is a reality in our family. Mom has been quick to remind us, her doctor, and the hospital staff - "There are others who have it much worse than I."  And she's right...it's obvious with every moment that is spent at her oncologist's office or on the oncology floor at the hospital when we encounter the other warriors.   This Thanksgiving, I am thankful that my mom is home from the hospital after a short stay for dehydration.  I am thankful that I have this time to spend with her.   I am thankful that God is still good. ~C.

I feel as though I should preface this post with a disclaimer...  About a year and a half ago...at the ripe "old" age of 45, I would find myself melting into what I THOUGHT was a hot flash.  Everyday.  Like clockwork.  At the same time of the day.  However, they weren't debilitating.  They didn't warrant me changing outfits before work because I had sweat through my clothes.  I didn't actually "look" like the hot mess I was feeling. On the inside, I was doing an internal happy jig!!  32 years of visits from "Flo" , feminine products, and cramps.  A menstrual cycle that has changed dramatically with every child born AND every miscarriage, has NEVER been predictable, and has been accompanied by migraine headaches in recent years.  If these little temperature surges that I had begun to experience were a sign that "the change" was beginning...I was putting out the Welcome mat for this next chapter in life!!  (Hot) Flash Forw...

It was December 14th, 2012. On that day.... I spent the afternoon at my kids' school watching my 1st grader and his classmates perform their Christmas concert for all of my fellow parents and grandparents.  First and Second Graders were singing together, bringing joy into the season. I watched them all, recognizing many of the faces, probably able to name most of them if I really thought long and hard enough. On that day...hundreds of miles away in Newtown, Connecticut, students were also at school with the excitement of Christmas being only days away. I can't even begin to fathom 20 less angelic voices  than those that I heard at my school on that day. On that day...there were elementary students in Connecticut who had spent the past few months making new friends who should've been friends for life as classmates.  At the end of the day they were left wondering why nobody ever told them about these scary, sad days at school. ...because these scary, sad d...

"The Elf", who is affectionately known as Jingles in our house, has been around for many, MANY years. He's a roly-poly sort-of elf, who shows up every year, looking like he has spent his time at the North Pole trying just a little too hard to channel his inner-Santa by growing a full beard that is completely out of control.  However, he has been part of Christmas with our family long before THE OTHER ELF was the cool thing to do - sometimes he can be uber-mischievous, and at other times, we hardly have even known he's around (or remembered, if I'm being really honest). I woke up this December 1st, and made my way into the family room, and there he was.  (Like the creepy stalker that he is) I had a discussion with him that these "lil' people" are now 18, 14, and 12...and MAYBE they had outgrown him and the need to be stalked  watched over.  (I'm pretty sure a baby reindeer died at the North Pole when I said that) I talked about how my ki...

I've been sitting on this for the past 7 days, contemplating how to pull out all of the thoughts that were filling my head and had been trying to claw their way out.  Yet each time I sat down and started to type, the thoughts were silenced, and my fingers hovered merely over my keyboard, not knowing where to go. Sometimes it's a good thing to sit and ponder on all of those thoughts for awhile. So I'm sitting here a week later, the thoughts are still here in my head, and I'm much less of an emotional mom-mess.  Three weeks ago, my 18-year old FINALLY got his driver's license.  I don't care what anyone says, the first day that your child gets behind the wheel and drives off on his own...even when it is just a short distance away to his friend's house, you Just.  Stop.  Breathing.    And you don't start breathing again until the car has pulled back into the driveway (Heaven forbid, should an emergency vehicle drive by with lights and siren...

It was just five short days ago when I hugged you goodbye and told you I loved you. Today I wish I could have just one more hour with you. I think we should have tea, for you were the one to gift me my first tea set as a young girl.  I'm certain that it was probably mere water and crackers that we dined on outside on that sunny day for our impromptu tea party, but we "clinked" tea cups and raised our pinky fingers as if we were at a proper garden party. However, knowing our shared love of family history, I would also take the opportunity to ask you to name every wife, every child, and every grandchild of all of those "Hulbert boys".  Lord knows, I've heard their names so many times in your house as you would update on how the family was doing. But this time I would write it down. I would listen intently as you relayed to me the Hulbert family that you've researched for years.  I know I've researched it too, but you were our original family ...

That's the one word that describes the weekend I just returned from.  (Okay, so maybe it's technically TWO words, but since it is hyphenated, that counts, right?) After just returning home from NY State PTAs annual convention, I HAVE to sit here and get some thoughts down before too much time passes.  It was inspiring, exciting, motivating, and just chock-full of "aha!" moments where I was challenged personally. To be fair, there was a point when I was more nervous than I cared to let on.  Being a part of the Resolutions Committee, this weekend was the moment when all of our team's hard work came to a head with our work placed in front of the delegates for discussion, possible debate, and hopefully their approval.  This was work that we began on this year's resolutions in June, and there may have been a collective breath of relief when the final update was accepted and passed by our membership. However, when I wasn't in the Resolutions Zone, I wa...